It is within the moments where one is at peace alone that loneliness becomes solitude. When we sit in a quiet and beautiful place and we feel the richness of nature all around us that we begin to feel a coming home to ourselves. We are no longer looking outside of ourselves feeling the distraction of acceptance or approval from others. There is only ourselves and the tranquility of a pond, waterfall or the ocean and in that moment we understand the pure reality of being. This is what I feel Henry David Thoreau was inviting us to understand and that he experienced with his time at Walden Pond. Each one of us has a place that invokes a sense of the miraculous in our lives through the simplicity of being at one with that natural surrounding. My Walden I have discovered is more than one location for me. It is in my backyard and the vegetable garden, my fathers flower garden, my mothers herb garden. It is in the memory of my grandmothers backyard with the beauty she created with her hands and heart. My Walden Pond is also in my heart and soul where I plant the garden of my life. Here I can sit in tranquility and peace knowing that I can always plant new seeds and nurture them with the sunshine of my ideas and the water of my tears. Here I can rest and rejuvenate from the daily challenges of life, recover from it's bumps and bruises. I can watch the butterflies and hummingbirds lazily fly from one flower to another creating an aerial dance worthy of the most adept of ballerinas. In the silence of my mind I can see clearly all the beauty of my life, it's complexities, the nuances of growth and maturity, even the acceptance of difficulties and sorrows, I can embrace the totality of my life not just the pieces and parts I recognize as joyful and playful but the depths of the shadows where the light plays at peaking through the leaves deep in the darkest of forests in my mind. It is in these moments where I find that I recognize the truest form of myself. The most perfect form of imperfections. The beautiful and the ugly, the peaceful and the angry, the light and the dark. And in this knowing and feeling I am whole. To know ones self in the quietest of moments is to know the whole self without denial of one part or another. And where we see the truth that we are all a part of each other and not separate but connected through the reality of being created by the One, the ultimate creative force in the Universe. That all of creation is within us that we can not say of anything that it is not us, we can not claim something as something without having a resonance with and an identification with all of it. It is with this realization that we become quiet with the enormity of how small a part of this giant Multi-verse we are and how within the uniqueness that is us we see that we are only a microcosm of the macrocosm. The very beauty we exhibit and the amazing souls that live within us are a reflection of and a reminder of the very soul who birthed us. We are all a part of the whole beating heart of the consciousness of the One. So in the course of your day, as you travel the highways and byways of life and feel the smallness of your existence and the separateness of your life with another's know that you are a precious and important part of this world and all versions of it as well. Your place of belonging is within the reality of your own Walden, your own recognition of the importance of your place within the cogs and wheels of this lifetime and all those who are here as well. And that in this truth is a love and beauty that is all around you and you can be at peace and go forth in love and gratitude.
It isn't often that I find the type of peace and tranquility that stays with me for a very long time, however when I find a version that has some longevity I am grateful. It has been awhile since I have had the where-with-all to put words down in a string of sentences that would be uplifting or helpful lately. And yet today I am sitting outside in my back yard with my dog lying in the grass and my garden to the right of the picnic table where I have laid my laptop and I am truly feeling the appreciation that warrants a few moments of written words strung together in a few sentences to hopefully bring smiles to a few of your faces. I find that lately life is a series of puzzles and word games that I am to ponder if I am to understand the current events in my life. These puzzles are not the type that the mind can figure out but are directly related to my heart and soul. The type of content that grips you and says you must learn this lesson and find a way through the darkness so you can be free. These are the moments I dread as they have the unfavorable taste of loss and the grief that accompanies the departure of someone I have loved. Someone who felt like family but upon closer inspection was only a facade made to look like someone who could have been there for the long haul and had integrity. Someone who could have seen the real me who truly loved them without condition and had valued this gift in their life. However the actual situation was one of loving a self serving and narcissistic personality, someone whom I could never receive love from because they never loved themselves and had nothing to give. The sadness of realizing this and the truth of these circumstances was devastating. SO what now says my heart and soul?? What are you going to do with this?? I have forgiven this person at least a dozen times and still I find a level of sadness and anger that is still contained within me. This darkness is part of me now.....as Debbie Ford says in her book The Dark Side of the Light Chasers, we must embrace all parts of ourselves to be whole. So it is that I will embrace this, that I will always love and feel a sense of loss and resentment towards this person who entered my life and said a lot of lovely things and yet did not have the ability to back them up with true action. They presented a picture of themselves that was a version they created but not the real whole person.....and when they wanted to be someone else they created a new version and found someone else who fit with that image. I have never quite been so mislead in all my life and my trust and ability to bounce back has been severely compromised. How does one recover from a deep love that was so misplaced and mislead? How can the deception of such a soul be resolved when so much hurt was inflicted and intentions maligned? To recover from such emotional abuse has been a task of monumental proportions. And accessing my darker nature has been necessary to create the boundaries necessary to keep myself protected from further deterioration of my soul's love and trust. So at this point I am sure some of you are wondering where is the part where I get to smile?? Where is the silver lining and the clouds lifting to let in the sunshine?? Well I ask myself this same question and it actually is something simple......the wind blowing in the trees behind me, the soft warmth of this Spring day. The beauty of this moment and the quiet truth in my heart of hearts that says this other soul actually did the best they could.......that through it all they did bring down some walls and let me see their true selves bared in moments of painful sharing where they felt broken and afraid. These were the moments where he showed me a brave and loving man that had the ability to connect to himself and the pain that he had inside. The beauty of his vulnerability was amazing and it was in these moments that I loved him most. Not because he was broken but because he broke through and let someone into that dark place and I felt he trusted me with this gift of seeing his deepest self. I felt in these moments his heart healing and hoped to have a future with him that could be both beautiful and peaceful. But then he would close the door to this pain and to me and to his beautiful heart. And eventually he slipped away to become who he wanted to be and that part of him that I saw was gone. He now has someone new who may or may not be a part of this person inside but I remember that the water will bring him joy as it always does and summer will create distraction as will the moment he has with this beautiful woman. I hope it is enough but fear that the deep and dark places inside of him will get restless and they will want to be heard again. But in this moment I am healing my heart, this very full heart. And the love I shared is still within me and the ability to love again will come.....of that I am sure. So as I forgive and move forward I am reminded of that line from one of my favorite Rumi poems......
"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I’ll meet you there."
So that is where I will meet this man someday and tell him that he is still loved. So this is a different happy ending. The type of happy ending that leaves the door open in my heart to love and be loved, to be cherished and to cherish. To see the best in myself and the worst and to be at peace with both sides and be whole again. This was the gift of his opening up to me and his closing as well.......and I am grateful for all of it.
May the blessings of nature and her beauty be with you this day and always when ever you need it whether you are blissfully happy or are feeling devastated and lonely. Love to all of you!!
My heart feels like it has been through a trial that I am not totally sure I exactly comprehend and may not until the next lifetime. People talk about Soulmates and Twin Flames as if it is just another psychological phenomenon as if it is some strange new species of insect someone has just discovered and should be inspected but not really seen close up or even in person. The abstract and somewhat clinical writings telling us how wonderful and awe-ful these connections can be really don't match the actual experience. The experience is both transcendent and acutely painful when one soul is backing away and exiting as frequently as they engage. When one heart has been hurt from life experiences no one should ever have to experience and has lost all hope or trust in love or their heart the result is devastating to both halves of the one soul. And yet the pain experienced by the one is felt by both and when one is trying desperately to heal the other by opening up their entire soul to the other and the result is less than a triumph and more like a crash and burn both souls are left with a damage unimaginable. Life becomes a series of tasks and things to do each day that keep the body alive but the soul is quiet, bereft of any happiness that previously existed. The wrenching apart of Twin Souls, that were originally one Soul, feels much like losing an arm or a leg. You know you use to have this beautiful and amazing appendage and it served you well and made life easier by it's very presence and felt like a part of you that was always there and when it is gone everything seems to be more difficult to do and much less appealing. When life hands you these extraordinary love experiences, you think to yourself "Oh I can handle anything!! I got this and whatever life throws at me.....I have my one and only love, anything is possible". But when one half of the Twin Soul decides they don't want to see it and denies the very existence of this very profound connection mainly because they never fully let themselves feel it or see the beauty in it. When they see only obstacles in the way of being together because they are afraid of letting themselves feel again and enjoy this connection. When they feel they do not deserve happiness because of their past, that what they have done does not warrant a happy life they walk through their lives as if they are Sisyphus rolling his boulder up the hill. And their very breath becomes a task not a joy and they look for things to not work out because after all that is exactly what they deserve. So they create a life full of difficulty and sadness. When a soul has been darkened by loss and tragedy it is difficult to just stay on the planet. And when the other soul is full of light and positivity and hope but is constantly told that life is nothing but hard and lonely and sad by the other soul eventually this drives away the other soul who's light has been dimmed and is slowly flickering and threatening to go out. When this happens both halves or the 2 souls that make up the halves of the Twin Soul connection feel the loss of what could have been the best part of this life. And the tragic past experienced of the one is now the barometer of happiness for both creating continued sadness. So walking away for the one soul before their light goes completely out is a necessary choice of survival to continue their mission here on the planet. And since this is my story I am telling out loud I will continue to get up everyday and move with as much grace as I can to stay true to my mission. The mission to continue to guide and help people even if the one that I would give anything to help and heal was my biggest failure I must continue to not give up hope on everyone else. And perhaps holding a vision of loving light and healing space for my love from a distance, that this profound connection which brought me moments of incredible joy in a beautiful city by the sea will find forgiveness for himself and although he will not forget what happened perhaps he can allow himself the opportunity for some happiness and joy. This is what I pray for and will always ask the Angles to help him with and never leave his side until he can be at peace.
So as the days turn warmer and the sun shines and then sets each day and time passes I know I will feel my breathing less labored and the dull ache in my heart a little less pronounced. I know that joy will find me again and my light will become strong again and bright and the reflection in my eyes will not be quite so dark and heavy. I feel as if I have been opened wide like that night so many years ago. And like that time after I feel it is time again to close the door for awhile on sharing my life. Perhaps I am just supposed to experience my own love within without the reflection of this love in the eyes of my Twin Flame. And while this love was sometimes acutely painful, the joy and love experienced will always be worth the pain. The recognition in his eyes of who I am to him will always be remembered, all the times we read each others minds and the ability to continue to speak to him without any use of technology will always be the proof of this connection and we will always have next time, the lifetime after this or the one after that. We will be together someday I know this to be true in the depths of my soul. We will have another lifetime to greet each other and get to know each other all over again. And like the song "I'll be seeing you" by Billie Holiday, "I will find you in the morning sun and when the night is new, I will be looking at the moon, but I will be seeing you......"
So to all of you who have experienced this profound love and if you have been lucky enough to keep it in your life I am profoundly happy for you and wish you continued joy! And as I trust in the the power that exits in all things I know that all is well and this too shall shift and change to become a beautiful sun filled day.
Love and blessings to all of you.
Sometimes I feel like I am waiting for something to happen.......for lightening to strike. To feel alive again with anticipation and excitement. For something or someone to bring to my life a sense of the miraculous!! I feel dull and like the shine has left my eyes for a moment. That I am a brittle, dry leaf from Autumn that is still clinging to the branch waiting to fall. My life has become a series of battles within and without, rising and falling with each wracking breath I take wondering if I can possibly endure the next blow to my heart, to my life. At least the lightening as destructive as it can possibly be would illuminate the darkness that I feel in this moment. This moment that feels without hope and dormant like the winter like the plants underneath the snow waiting for when they can take their first breath and feel the sunshine on their faces and know that the Divine has not forgotten them. That the Divine has not forgotten me. That I am still loved and cherished for being the unique beautiful child that was running in your Elysian fields before this incarnation. Where is the light and the hope that always seems to be shining on me? It seems to have gone out like the stub of a candle that winks and dies. My light feels fragile and flickering, threatening to go out. I need to know that I am not alone and yet as much as I know this intellectually and tell my friends and clients this sometimes I have a hard time finding it for myself. When the heart feels ripped from it's self, lost to the pain of discord it yearns to feel close to the fire that ignites and fuels it's energy. How can I again feel the fire of love and life? The anticipation of the touch of a lovers hand is as intrinsic to the heart as any jewel found on this earth. I am lost to the pain in this moment and lost to hope that I may find that again. That I am loved by someone and that I am thought of in the moments during a busy work day. That I am worth the effort of figuring out how I fit into someones life. That I am important and not just something to be brushed to the side or put on a shelf to take out on another day or forever on the back burner of someones life where more important priorities take precedent. How does one move forward when they have been taken for granted and never really cherished? How do I find this for myself? How do I remember the shiny and beautiful woman I used to be before I lost myself to the harshness of indifference or as a casualty to someone else's imperfect and tragic life. This moment is dark and frightening but I know that even as I admit the pain and see the darkness surrounding me like a shroud that I am perhaps just in a cocoon waiting for that sunny spring day where I can emerge into the light as the once again beautiful being flying in the sunshine feeling my heart soar up to the sky. When I can have gratitude for this beautiful life. But for right now I am wrapped up in the darkness of my own life's tragic endings. And as I wait for what is next I can let the moments slip by and feel the loss of what I hoped could be a happy ending. Sometimes the prince forgets where the princess is laying or that she is even asleep or maybe that their presence is even important. So while I am sleeping I will dream of my prince, the one who will be there right at the right moment and take me by surprise. That I will feel again the joy of love and hope in the eyes of the man who sees me as the one who could be their life, their love, their hope and they could be mine. Life is meant to be shared, I have always felt this and someday I hope to share it with someone who is meant to be there.
How do we bring to life our hearts desire, the dreams that live in our souls? This is the question I am asking myself right now. What more can I do? I have created affirmations and say them regularly, visualize the life I want to live and appreciate the life I have in this moment....so what more is there that I can do? I feel the answer is in the photo I chose for today.......It speaks of trust and the ethers where the dream is manifesting and where the Divine is still forming the picture. The two birds represent the dream aloft in the sky traveling towards it's destination and the rainbow waterfall the flowing energy of the stream of consciousness I have formed in my mind of this desire for change in my life. The tree stands for foundation and grounding in that dream and my firm belief that it is entering my life. So much work and yet so much happiness went into the forming of this dream creation and I am feeling like a woman nesting getting ready for the birth of this beautiful child that is my life reborn. It is so exciting but sometimes I forget to see the excitement as I am so busy creating. But in this moment I feel like Christmas day is on it's way and the opening of the precious present will happen soon. Do you feel like the wonderful and miraculous is happening in your life? I hope so and if not then maybe let this be the moment you shift into dreaming and creating what you truly want in your life. What makes your soul sing and your heart feel like it is home. Is it a place, a person you desire to be with, a longed for job or the peace of a an everyday sense of well being. What ever it is keep affirming it is yours and keep creating the vision of your life as we are the dreamers and we are the ones creating this beautiful and miraculous life. Ask for help from your unseen Teachers and Guides, they are whispering in your ears that to dream is to live and vice versa. We are beings of light that create the way for ourselves and others......shine brightly your brave and courageous hearts for everyone to see and know how much this is changing those around you!! When you open up to the vulnerability of dreaming it can be scary sometimes and that can feel immobilizing but never give the fear more attention than your belief that you deserve happiness. Feel the fear and do it anyway.....turn it around to excitement because that is really what it is. Excitement that your life is waiting for you to claim it and live in joy, peace and harmony!! So what are you waiting for??? Go out there and dream it, live it, be it!! And give thanks to everyone who put you on this beautiful path to bliss:) I am now joining you on the path to my greatest good and am ready for the adventure of a loving and joyful life full of what my heart has desired for many years!! May we live our dreams!!
Many blessings on the path to your Dreams!!
I wasn't fortunate enough to there when Dr. King gave his speech about his dream but I have felt his presence in his words since I was a young adult. To have the strength to pursue a path that involves standing up to bullies that hold contempt and hate for you has always been impressive to me. But to stand up to them with compassion and love is a whole other level of depth that surpasses the average person. I feel that his message is calling us forth to this level of presence in our current circumstance with the administration that is taking office soon. How can we take up the mantle of this great man and move our nation forward? How can each one of us make a difference in the lives of those around us? I think that for some of us the grand gestures of marching with signs and shouting to the roof tops that something isn't right is one way. I also think that the presence of someone holding the hand of a frightened child who has just lost their home is also just as powerful and illustrates the character Dr. King was referring to in his quote. And I happen to know someone who does the latter. She is someone that I admire greatly and am to grateful to know. Her work with the most unfortunate in this particular local has been going on for over 20 years. Her dedication and love for the people who are the most down trodden in our society, who by circumstances out of their control find themselves without homes have a friend to turn to and she makes every effort to create an avenue for them to have access to the basics, food, water, shelter and love. And one of the most important factors in her work is that she is driven by love for her fellow humans. She does not see them as just homeless but as people with stories and hearts that have become broken and dreams that have been lost. She not only picks up the pieces of their lives as best she can within a system that is flawed in it's bureaucracy and inefficiency but she also does it with the upmost respect for them as human beings. She has a dream....a dream that all people have shelter. That they have a well lighted place to call home. And this dream to me is more pertinent than packing up and traveling to a far away place for a week or two supporting a cause that is also important but not in front of us everyday that has had numerous videos on FB, myriads of blogs written and famous radio celebrities arrested or a cause that is marketed well and funded with the option to purchase a great T-shirt and the place to be seen by your friends. This quiet work is done after hours or during the pouring down rain or by putting off going home to fix dinner for her family. This work is done day in and day out even after everyone has put away their signs and have returned to their warm houses enjoying the Central Coast as the beautiful place they call home. She is not a weekend or vacation activist, she is an everyday doer where her plans are dictated by those who need a roof over their heads and food to eat today. And these people she helps are here in our backyard.......not thousands of miles away. The thing that astounds me about my friend is that she states facts that are obstacles in her way and still tries to find solutions despite the up hill battle she faces with community members who are more interested in accolades than finding the Vet down at the creek a place to hang his hat and a job to afford putting food in his mouth. And yet she accepts the conditions and continues to find 'work arounds' for the system because she knows that to sleep on the cold ground and huddle in the rain is neither a choice nor a way of life that anyone would choose no matter how much they may say it is. No one wants to sleep on a WWII cot in a room full of other people with equally disparaging albeit different stories of how they also came to be without the most basic of needs, shelter. She understands that everyone not only deserves this basic need but also deserves not her pity but her understanding of their circumstance and their value as individuals. Some of them have served our country, some are mothers with young children and others are confused and can not find the mental where with all to make sound and safe decisions. THESE are the ones that we have forgotten or stepped over in our haste to be somewhere that is changing the face of popular underground news or makes us feel good about ourselves......so wake up to the reality that some hero's are here in our midst doing work that needs to be done. And perhaps all of us can take a cue from this heart centered woman as she shows us how to be relevant in the lives of someone who needs our help just a few steps away from our homes. And as she guides her own daughters on this path as well we can see the next generation of dream makers. And these new dreamers just might come up with a way to find homes for everyone and we can all sleep better knowing that there are no people huddling on the concrete in the shadows on a cold night feeling the dampness seeping into their clothes. That they have a home.
My friend is Dee Torres and started a non-profit called SLO Housing Connection. http://www.slohousingconnection.org/
If you want to make a difference in our local community call her or donate to continue to assist her in making her dream come true that no one is without shelter or a place to call home.. She is also on FB
We fall, we get up and we fall again.....but do we see what was out of balance in order to correct it and prevent falling in the same way again? Balance is the key to everything in life.....nature understands this profoundly and beautifully. When snow gets too heavy on the mountainside an avalanche creates a shift and balance is restored. Then why do I question change when it arrives to show me where I need to shift to restore balance? As humans we are constantly looking for routine and sameness as if this will create safety against change. The cycle of life shows us everyday that change is the only constant, flowers and leaves die to make way for winter. Snow melts to make way for Spring. Things change. Babies are born, children learn to walk and talk and then run from us towards their life. We see people come and go in our lives and want so desperately to keep them there even if their presence has outgrown the season or reason for being in our lives. I am humbled by my hearts desire to keep the deepest heart connection I have felt in this lifetime with me. And yet this connection has it's ebb and flow but I always find that it returns and this is what keeps my heart smiling. And yet when deep connections with souls that depart from us to the other dimension happens all we can do is mourn the loss of the physical sense that we no longer have with them. The animals that have died in my arms and hands are numerous and I am always brought to a place of deepest sorrow and yet profound and moving peace that they have released their souls and are moving towards the next part of their journey. Change is inevitable and balance is restored when change shifts us from one direciton to another. And yet we can continue to find new ways to return to those whom we feel most connected to. Letting go and trusting, feeling the faith that they will return and that they desire to return as well is something that is felt deeeply within all of us. When we recognize those who no longer benefit our lives but take from it and give nothing in return or very little we see that change is important to our well being. And letting them go to be with those who are serving them best is the kindest thing we can do. It is when we struggle to hang on to something or someone that we create fear that if we open our hands to let it fly away we will never see it or them again. But I am a firm believer that if it is truly meant to be in your life it will return when the time is right. This is a practice of relaxing into the void, the unknown and trusting that your highest good will be served by you releasing all fear and letting yourself be supported. This practice becomes your Tai Chi of flowing with change. Life is a constant flowing river of change and you can either swim with the current or fight to be upstream and exhuast yourself. Sometimes fighting is part of the process and we all see the benefit of the Salmon swimming his way upstream. But when these times call to us we know we are in the flow because the energy to fight upstream comes easily and effortlessly. And we eventually get to rest at the end of the journey. But if we always fight and never let go and flow with the current we will never know peace and our place in the scheme of things. The Divine plan will not be revealed to us and we will feel the pain and struggle that is not necessary. So when change shows up whether it is what you have longed for or not, let go of the side of the river bank and float with the current of your life. It will never send you over the falls unless that is what you need and you will survive and continue on your way to more peaceful waters. Freedom is in the letting go and not in the holding on.....so free yourselves today of attachments and schedules and see where your life current wants you to go. Enjoy the relaxation of putting yourself in the hands of the Divine ones who love you and care for your well being at all times. You are loved and cared for so let yourself be taken for a ride my loves!!!
The well known Zen statement of "Before enlightnment chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." is comforting me in many ways these days. While I am tending my heart in it's healing I still have to do the dishes, laundry, go to the grocery store and celebrate birthdays and get ready for the holidays. So keeping my head in the day to day tasks is how I can keep from falling down the rabbit hole of sadness and the tears fall only some of the time now and only when my mind is not part of the task I am doing but wanders into the depths of the story that it tells about my heart. But then I see that my mind is just trying to make sense of the sorrow in my heart. So I tell my mind to go back to chopping wood and carrying water because the heart knows what it knows and will be ok. The love that lives there is strong and patient. The heart is a wonderful and amazing part of our being and will always steer us in the right direction. Even when it feels the emotions of love lost or love disconnected it sees the truth that we are never far from our deepest heart connections. Even when those we know we are most connected to are confused and distant with their communication their hearts still communicate with ours and the seperation is all in the perception of time and location which in the realm of the heart does not affect the love and the feeling that they are still a part of our lives everyday. When we can see with our hearts beyond our eyes and feelings we see that the love that we feel is still there and waiting on that one soul to return to us in the physical. And when they do we can embrace them in the physical and yet they never really left our hearts at all. So when I feel the perception of distance in the physical realm I go back to chopping wood and carrying water and do those tasks that need to be done in my life. Life gives us plenty of reminders to stay vigilent with our lives and continue on the path of simplicity and diligence. This is not often easy in this modern society. We have forgotten how to chop the wood and carry the water and this is often why we have the modern emotional dysfunctions of depression and stress. We have not put our backs into the tasks of our lives. Exercising trys to accomplish this and does get the body feeling fit and healthy but the task of chopping wood and carrying water is also a mental task of doing for ourselves those things that modern society has now provided for us without our doing. So how can we bring back the mental and physical relief of tasks into our lives for everyday healing? I think it is different for everyone but for me writing and putting down in word form the process of my thoughts is the carrying water and walking the dog or physically cleaning my house, laundry, doing the dishes, making dinner and providing for my family through my business is the chopping wood part. I am making a difference just by finishing one task at a time and feeling the accomplishment in that moment before going on to the next task. Take time to resonate with what you have completed in your day and see what importance it made to those around you. Send a loving note or message to those who are having a difficult time because when we can see those who are suffering deep inside and need our encouragement and we respond to those needs and also to the needs of our own physical and emotional selves as well we are tending the en"light"enment part of life. So the cycle continues, chop wood, carry water, en"light"en yours and someone elses life, chop wood, carry water. And remember the fire you sit beside during this holiday time and enjoy the warmth of came from your task of bringing in the wood and building that fire and the tea that you drink beside that fire is the water you carried to the kettle, and if you made a cup for someone you love I hope that you enjoy sitting beside them in front of that fire as well. Sharing the tasks of life with someone you love is the ultimate gift, if you are so lucky to have this in your life, give thanks for it and enjoy every moment! The precious gift of sharing a life with someone you love is truly the most precious present we can ever recieve. And if you are missing that one someone who was there but is now gone appreiciate when they were there and go and chop wood and carry water until they return.
Blessings to you all,
Letting go of those people we love dearly that no longer serve our highest good is one of the most difficult things I think as humans we ever have to do. Especially when we have memories of so many other lifetimes with these individuals that were also difficult; there is a sense of desperation to make it right and perfect this time. And when it clearly is not working out for the both of you, when the communication is lacking and the language translations are nothing but cross purposes all the time, letting them go feels like the only answer. When one is giving and the other resisting, when one is open and the other open sometimes and closed others, when one heart sees the truth and the other sees nothing but the here and now which is only part of the wonderful story of the two souls and when both feel the connection strongly but one can not find out what that means to them and sees only the surface of life and not the amazing and beautiful world they have shared that lives underneath, the pain and sadness experienced by the other one is profound and devastating. To see and understand the complexity of this kind of love in this lifetime is a rare opportunity like a shooting star, unpredictable and special and is the burden carried by those who see life as a continuum of the thread that was started with that first lifetime and the joining together of those two souls. To see karmic links resolved and repaired is the longing of so many of us. And yet others are so tuned into this lifetime as if it is the only one and the importance of such things like karma and past lives is of no consequence to them is so painful to those of us who know the importance of such opportunities. When 2 souls who have been together many times before see each other for the first time in a new lifetime there is a recognition and a sense of knowing the other without even knowing their names in this lifetime. When touching physically feels like going home and a safe harbor to both but one soul feels and sees the pain of this lifetime more acutely and can not consistently connect emotionally to the space and time of the precious gift of this kind of connection the other soul must let go. And the pain of thousands of lifetimes is felt by that soul that understands the truth and the unresolved pain and love that exists which crossed the boundaries of life and death. When the winds of change encourage us to shift our perspective and become who we are meant to be we want to feel the connection to all those who have been the collective of souls returning to our lives every lifetime. But we do not always have that opportunity to be in the presence of an enduring love that was lost to us perhaps many times in other lifetimes from that soul passing into the void or never returning from a long journey. One soul always is waiting for the return of that other soul to feel the presence of that one love that always felt right and perfect. So how do we let go of this kind of a love? The love that pulls those strings to our hearts and rips at the very fabric and unravels them leaving them tattered and torn. The repair is long and arduous but hearts are strong by the very nature that comprises them and the energy that they hold weaves the new light and life into them as we send love and compassion to those souls who we are supposed to be with. When to be apart is more painful than the very real pain from any physical cut with a knife we must not underestimate the care we must take of our bodies, minds and souls. Time is our teacher and our medicine which will help to resolve within us the distance we feel from the soul we long to reconnect with. But separation is also a concept of the mind and if we can know and understand that this kind of connection is never really far from our hearts this is a consolation that will move us through the pain and sadness. And if we can always keep the door open to those souls who have inadvertently hurt us by not understanding the importance of this heart and soul connection perhaps by some miracle the angels will help them see the value of the treasure they have been offered. The once in a lifetime opportunity to come together after so many lifetimes of being torn apart by circumstances. The time may come where they see and understand how rare and beautiful is the time spent with a soul mate connection. And we can still love them from afar and wish them happiness and peace. Moving forward and breathing through the pain is the only option when the body, mind and soul is longing to feel once more the touch of their hand or their voice in our ear telling us they love us and want to be in our lives. Breathe, breathe and remember that no matter how much debris is covering the love and the understanding there is always the possibility that they will uncover it someday and make their way back to us. And in the meantime we are alive and have purposes to fulfill and destinies to meet. So in your pain, smile through the tears and move forward with your lives......I will do the same. Your heart is strong and will always persevere.
With light and love to all of you......
Fire is the element most feared and avoided yet it is the most cleansing and clearing. Our feelings of passion and anger are described as fiery or full of fire when we express them without holding back. And sometimes that expression of passion is cleansing especially when we are fed up with our circumstances and our relationships. So some of you know I am a Gemini (an air sign) but many of you may not know that I am more fire than I am air, as I have 5 planets in Fire signs. So this in simple terms means that where ever the planetary constellations were in the sky at my birth certain planets were featured as dominate in the signs of Fire. Sagittarius (Moon), Aries (Mars) and also Leo (Venus) are all in my chart. So when I tell you I am fired up about something.....take me seriously! So I also have grounding Virgo (earth sign) as my ascendent which helps keep the fire balanced. So suffice it to say when people piss me off. A. It takes awhile to get me to the level of anger. And B. My response is quick and cutting in fact I used to cut off at the proverbial knees those who were unfortunate enough to illicit anger from me. This was when I was younger and not so in control of my fiery side when my mother used to call me the Guillotine Queen with boyfriends who were less than cooperative even with my very expansive Gemini qualities of allowing but when they crossed the line that was it..........done, fini, exit stage left and no looking back. Now as I have gotten older I have gotten soft and more pliable and forgiving which is a good thing and much more conducive to a calmer lifestyle which I have become accustomed to and yet sometimes things get to a level where I clear the decks and heads roll. Now mostly it is directed at my dog who refuses to stop digging holes in the backyard or my cat who yowls at me incessantly and refuses to use her cat box but will find any basket in the house filled with paper. But sometimes the anger is deeper and more profound. That conversation we all have with ourselves about how others treat us and what is allowable and what is not......or how long do we put up with treatment that normally we would be on our friends asses to not put up with and move on......So I am at that point. The point where I am telling myself enough is enough and really what is the point of continuing the energetic pull of people who treat me with less respect then the rest of the people I know care about me both male and female. Where the indifference is so acute and the disrespect is so evident as to show who these people really are and how they feel about me regardless of what they say, actions do speak louder than words. So the point of no return is a stance I almost never take but I do make exceptions and although forgiveness is now in my repertoire and moving forward in a positive way as well I find that eliminating those people who no longer resonate with my highest good just need to go and not come back. They need to stay gone unless deep apologies and remorsefulness is evident in their words and actions. And even then forgiveness is one thing but having them in my life in an ongoing capacity is not really an option unless they have decided to work on the very issues that caused them to be in a position to treat someone they say they love in such an unloving way. Having disregard and unkindness is not acceptable nor is a lack of courtesy. Now granted we were not all raised by Emily Post but there are certain accommodations we all make to regard peoples feelings especially those who have a special place in our hearts eg. our children, you just don't want to hurt those you truly love. Which brings me to the part of my anger which burns the brightest. I can not abide when people lie to me! It is like the worst salt in the wound of betrayal and unfortunately I am always underestimated in my ability to be intuitive and know when things are not as they seem. Even lies of omission are just as bad.......not telling someone what is happening and letting them possibly worry about your safety is to me the biggest middle finger to the heart of someone who cares about you that I can think of. Now this is par for the course when you are raising teenagers but when a grown person does this it is seriously time to exit. And the more disappointing is when they are indifferent to your anger and they claim they don't need to consider your feelings in any way, shape or form, that they are not going to honor your love and concern for them......this is the pain that gives way to fire burning anger. And I know that these are all reflections of how these people treat themselves inside and my sadness is profound when I have allowed them to treat me the same when I know better. So I have been pushed and pulled for the last time and am taking back the power I gave away by being so accommodating and understanding. My fire has risen and I am burning away all of the energy I spent trying to be something that would fit in with crazy demands instead of being myself, ironically my loving and affectionate self, the one most people would adore to be with and appreciate. So with a huge sigh and a sense of relief I let go and allow the ashes to fall and now will wait to emerge from these ashes as the beautiful, phoenix and find someone who appreciates my loving ways and all of my affection. And this someone will reciprocate in their own way their affection and love for me. And honestly I wish peace and joy for all those who push love away and treat it like a disease or something that is less than the amazing gift that it is. Love comes and when we reject it and ourselves and only keep the pain and suffering alive in our lives we become much less able to enjoy our lives and create happiness. So I will continue to wish healing for all those who have a difficult time accepting love in their lives. May we all find and resonate with the love that lives within us and see the beautiful reflections that mirror back to us all that we are.
Love really is the answer my friends! Bless it in your lives!
I am an intuitive Body, Mind, & Soul Mentor. Helping people become more in tune with the themselves and their spiritual guides resulting in clarity and awareness of the Divine that lives within!